INBOX. ✦

[rebelsamurai]

You just discovered what it takes to become a legend... Grab your iron - let's mobilize.

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0:XX

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un: Goldilocks

[likemybooks]

[There's a voice message from Johnny's old speed dating partner!]

Hello, Johnny! I've been terribly bored so far, so I've been looking for something new to listen to while I work. [A pause.] Work out, I mean. Because I'm exercising and training while we're locked in.

[He has to make sure he sounds cool no matter what he's doing. Johnny works out, so if Taryon mentions that he's working out, then they can work on being friends.]

You're not sick, are you? You can come over and we can share some music together. I figured you would know more about what's popular or what's undiscovered. Oh, and some of my friends might be stopping by from time to time.

Let me know if you'll be stopping by!

un: lastsamurai ✧ text

[rebelsamurai]

[A voice message? From fucking who?! Johnny was about to delete it until he heard the familiar voice. Oh, that's...Taryon. Nova.

He listens for a while, smirking when Taryon mentions "working out." Yeah, Johnny has been hitting the gym a little more since the last Kaiju attack. Or, rather, he was before the lockdown began.

Now he's just bored out of his mind, strumming his guitar as he reminisces about the good old days. Talk about boring.]

Hey, nice to hear from ya. I thought you got eaten by a kaiju or somethin'.

Working out, huh? Well, I've recorded a couple of new tracks as of late that might help get the blood pumping. Gotta admit, I've been letting the creative juices flow ever since lockdown started, but even I'm gettin' bored.

Sick? I heard about that illness going around and decided to stay put for a couple of days. But now I'm bored of the four walls of this apartment and itchin' to go somewhere.

So yeah, I'll drop by. I'll bring the guitar.

text

[likemybooks]

[Oh! That's a pleasant response. Taryon is very much used to Message spells which require audio, but texting does have its benefits. He reads through the message several times, stands up, and starts organizing all of his books and scrap metal. Astarion tends to come in at any moment he pleases, so he doesn't mind the spots of mess, but things are different for acquaintances.

Also, being along for too long has made him neglect his housekeeping. If he's going to be more responsible, more reliable, he can't depend on Doty to tidy up everything.]

That would be delightful. I'll bring out my music player when you want to take a break.

Let me tell you, I know a thing or two about entertaining myself in my room, but after getting a taste of freedon, I forget how I ever managed as a boy. I was rather sheltered in my youth, did I ever tell you that? But I wasn't unhappy, just so you know.

[That's...a pretty big lie, but Tary will let that stand. He has snacks to bring out and chairs to rearrange.]

[rebelsamurai]

[Sheltered, huh? Johnny can't help but roll his eyes a little.

This guy is the walking embodiment of privilege, like a spoiled poodle wearing a 48K gold collar. He is the antithesis of everything Johnny represents, all packaged up in a tidy little package.

It's kind of hilarious.]

At least you had a room back then. Back when I was traveling with the nomads, the stars above served as my ceiling. Living with them was far from boring.

[That's mainly because they were either getting drunk, fucking, or killing. However, Johnny wisely decides to omit all that.]

But yeah, didn't have much of a home growing up.

Text, un: Goldilocks

[likemybooks]

[The night after Johnny visited was restless. Taryon wished that he was irresponsible enough to get drunk and force himself to sleep, but the potential hangover frightened him, so he was stuck in his bed, unable to replay the disastrous confrontation and repeat to himself that everything was his fault. It's his fault that both Astarion and Johnny were angry at him (no doubt Astarion was angry because Tary didn't convince him enough that there was nothing between him and any other man), and that he could have diffused the situation if he weren't caught off-guard.

That morning, waking up to Astarion's text, Tary knows that this may be the only time he has the courage to reach out to the other wronged man. Otherwise, they're going to go on a mission avoiding each other, and someone will die. ]

Doty, [He addresses his automaton.] If only we could leave this building, I would treat ourselves to some good food, or perhaps a movie. This is the worst. Even Vex forgave me when I apologized for ruining her room. This isn't as easy, is it?

[But the metal machine cannot offer words of comfort, only a monotone:] Tary.

Yes, yes, I know. But thanks. That helps.

[With a deep breath, he closes his eyes and hits the "send" button. Then closes the messenger application and turns on the television to distract himself.]

I want to apologize again for yesterday. I was deceitful and withheld critical information from both of you, and you were treated horribly by someone I thought I trusted. I haven't seen Astarion act like this before, and I am horrified at what he called you.

But you should not have tried to make it worse. If you dislike him, just say so without making jokes at my expense. It was kind of creepy for a while.

So, again, I'm sorry and if there is any way I can make it up to you, tell me. I will talk to Astarion about what happened, but I wanted to talk to you myself.

text | un: lastsamurai

[rebelsamurai]

[Taryon is not the only one surviving on a few hours of sleep. Johnny decided to keep quiet for the remainder of the evening and try to work on some music in peace. The trouble was that he couldn't focus. His mind was spinning out of control after that stupid incident. He spent the entire night thinking about Alt, how they fucked, argued, and loved at the same time.

While Alt and he were never exclusive, he did love her in his own odd way. He just couldn't admit it. The same thing happened to Kerry. They'd argue like cats and dogs one moment and then fuck like animals the next. It was a continual drama between them, with performances that often resulted in broken noses and split lips. However, it was natural...authentic.

The same may be stated for his relationship with V. However, Johnny doesn't wish to open that can of worms. His feelings for V are more convoluted than he could have imagined.

He was in the middle of this depressive thought when he received a notification on his phone. It's Taryon. When Johnny saw the text, he let out an annoyed groan. He is tempted to simply block him and be done with it. Whatever is going on between Taryon and Astarion is none of his concern. He doesn't care. Let the medieval twinks be assholes on their own time.

However, his first mistake was actually reading the text.]

Creepy? You know what's creepy? You insinuating we did more than just "chat," Taryon. That's what the fuck was really creepy here. Or how about you not coming clean about you having fucking input--I mean, boyfriend? Seriously, choom. Don't you sit there like you didn't play a role in this shit.

Also, Astarion is a complete asshole! He went from zero to sixty in 2.5 seconds all because you had me there. He's ridiculous and you're ridiculous.

The two of you deserve each other.

[likemybooks]

[Fuck. Shit. The consequences of his actions have come to destroy him and his friendship. It's one thing to lie about actually looking for a one-night stand and realizing later that he made a fool of himself. It's another to relish in winning a few minutes of a man's company to the point that another gets jealous and the first one just feels...

Shit. Taryon has become the scoundrel of a bard that Vox Machina often rants to him about. Not a womanizer, exactly, but disrespectful to would-be lovers. A sleazy creep, as Percival said.

But on the other hand, why should he tell him right away that he has a boyfriend? Is that a thing people are supposed to do? Wouldn't that be bragging?

He wishes he had more sleep, and he wishes that he never runs into Johnny again.]

I will not argue against the accusations against me. But leave Astarion out of this.

[Taryon has a suspicion why, but he won't theorize it when he hasn't gotten a full apology and explanation from Astarion. ]

His behavior is his issue, not mine.

[rebelsamurai]

[Now that the initial icky feelings are gone, Johnny feels a little...better. Not by much but better. He's no longer smoking a chimney anymore, so that's a plus. Even so, he's not too thrilled at where this conversation is going.]

Fine, I'll leave the pale asshole out of this.

[Of course, he had to get that last dig against Astarion, though. Johnny is petty like that.]

So yeah, that's how I feel about the situation. It was nice knowing you.

UN: KENSUKE (backdated to lockdown times)

[vorous]

Hey, Johnny.
You don’t seem like you’re someone who knows how to cook.

_{[ Just like that. Laios doesn’t even bother to fully explain himself or recognize that what he is saying is possibly rude. ]}

un: lastsamurai

[rebelsamurai]

[Wait what? Why is Johnny getting called out like this? This is wild, especially since he suspects it’s Laios.

Weird. Johnny almost doesn’t know what to say.]

Cooking was never my forté, you know? Especially since I was on tour most of the time…

Anyway, what’s it to you?

[vorous]

Well, I figure with the restrictions and everything, maybe I could use this time to teach some people what I know. You know, individually! Personalized.

Your survival skills really don’t seem great … remember that whole problem with the camel? so I want to help. Is that okay? :)

[rebelsamurai]

[Yo, why is he getting "called out" like this?!

Johnny is almost offended but how can he be offended by the truth? His survival skills are at an all-time low without V at the wheel here. Hell, he needed to be carted away out of the desert because of the heat. Johnny isn't built for survival at this point, not in this new body.

That's why, instead of legitimately cursing Laios out, Johnny waves the metaphorical white flag in surrender.]

Alright, alright! You ain't gotta remind me.
So yeah, sure. I'll be a willing student.

un: thepaleelf | a couple days after the confrontation, but before kaiju fight

[sanguivorous]

[He spent so long on this, revising it over and over to be less and less angry and petty and sarcastic. But he does want to do it for Taryon. He just has to try to hold back his impulsiveness and self-edit until he finally sends:]

I know you won't want to hear from me, and I hardly want to reach out like this, but Taryon is important to me, and friendship is important to him.

He did not say anything untoward or even exaggerated, as far as I can recollect. Before I had told him how I felt about him, he was talking about someone he had had a fun night with, like you do with friends. I am sure a singing shining star such as yourself has done your fair share of bragging in song alone, so you must understand. He did say the two of you didn't have sex and that was it, however my mind leapt to still lurid activities. Suffice to say, I'm not keen to divulge my personal history to you, so let us just say my life for nearly 2 centuries required my thoughts to be so lasciviously bent.

All this to say, I apologise. You don't have to like me, or even tolerate me. Just don't hold my mistakes against him.

-Astarion

[rebelsamurai]

[Ah, shit. Here we go again. Johnny was getting bad vibes the second he spotted that screen name. Who else would go around here calling himself "the pale elf" besides yours truly? Johnny was about to lay into Astarion until he actually read the message.

Instead of being met with a boatload of sass, he's greeted by a shockingly sincere message. Wtf? This surprises Johnny quite a bit.]

Lasciviously bent, huh? That's one hell of a quote. I might use that in the future.

[Okay, it's time for him to be an adult and respond back like one.]

No hard feelings, choom. Shit happens and I'll admit I blew a fucking gasket since I'm no good with this kind of touchy-feely stuff. It's just not my cup of tea, and I hate getting in the middle of someone else's affairs.

I honestly thought the worst of the situation since I'm used to bad shit happening. So yeah, I guess I have to apologize too for calling you two the medieval twinks brigade.

But yeah, no hard feelings. I'll talk to Taryon eventually, once lockdown ends. I don't see these chucklefucks keeping us locked up forever.

-
Silverhand

[sanguivorous]

Feel free. Might not be the first time I've inspired a lyric or two.

[He's glad this seems to be going well-enough. Not being cussed out immediately is a plus in his book.]

We all may have been swayed by our own pasts. However, I feared Taryon being the one hurt most from the repercussions. He at least seems the most likely of us to have a cry over it.

Much appreciate,
Astarion

( Text )

[mikoshi]

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

😂🙋 Konnichiwa!! 🎌 emoji 😂 desu!! 😄😜>.< I suki 😮🍆😲 all 💯of you!! 💦👅👀 :333 im kawaii 🎌💯 onnanoko 😇 desu!! who 😘 wants to 😈 sekkusu🍆🙈😏 me??? 😂💦😋>.<<< arigatou 🎌 for reading 💯 watashi no message!! 💦👅😂😂

██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete.....

████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete....

███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete....

███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Senpais are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Sempai!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Senpais👪 who give you 💦head pats💦 Or never get ☁️noticed☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no head pats for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're Senpai's childhood friend️💦 5 back: you're senpai's kanojo😽👼💦

[rebelsamurai]

[It's times like these that Johnny really thinks V's brain has turned to mush like Pop-Turds. He stares at his phone for a long while in sheer disbelief with a deadpan stare. He knows this is V; who else would text him this bullshit under the username "nightshitty"?

No one besides V.]

Finally fried the rest of that giant meatball you call a "brain," huh? What a pity.

Or maybe this shit is my fault. Was I that good in bed, Vinny?

[mikoshi]

And whose fault is that? 'Sides, Tokyo's reply game is insane. [ Yes, he got all this shit from the local BBS. ]

Think there's room for improvement. Round two? (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝)

[rebelsamurai]

Not my fault! I didn't think your gonk ass to slot a piece of ancient tech into your brain!

[Yeah, but if V didn't do just that, Johnny would've been gone for real. The Relic's integrity kept dipping after the case was broken during the heist. The only way to keep the Relic from essentially "dying" was to slot it.

Johnny knows this but even so--]

Gah! You found a way to make those dumb emojis already, huh? But sure, I'm game for a round two.

@nightshitty

[mikoshi]

[ After a certain conversation left him a bit unsettled: ] Johnny, am I a gonk?

[rebelsamurai]

Huh? Why do you ask? [Bro, he looks away for ten minutes and this happens. What’s going on?]

Well, you’re not book smart. More like wiser than the average bear.

[mikoshi]

Just got in my feelings, I guess. Not the first time someone's acted like I'm a fuckin' idiot. Look down on me like.

Well, yeah. You and I both know the nomads aren't sending their kids to colleges. Don't get what bears got to do with it though. Is it 'cause they're big?

Text

[mikoshi]

Want to get the fuck out of Tokyo?

[rebelsamurai]

Fuck yes! I am fuckin' tired of this city.

Where are we going?

[mikoshi]

Got two options.

We can spread to outer Tokyo, see if we can find access to the old highways, go from there. Thinking towards Saitama, about forty minutes. Enough time for a weekend getaway. No one should miss us.

There's also the old shinkansen lines. Might still be passable with the right car.

Attached: jphighway2025.pdf, jpshinkansenmap2025.pdf