rebelsamurai | INBOX. ✦

From:

[There's a voice message from Johnny's old speed dating partner!]

Hello, Johnny! I've been terribly bored so far, so I've been looking for something new to listen to while I work. [A pause.] Work out, I mean. Because I'm exercising and training while we're locked in.

[He has to make sure he sounds cool no matter what he's doing. Johnny works out, so if Taryon mentions that he's working out, then they can work on being friends.]

You're not sick, are you? You can come over and we can share some music together. I figured you would know more about what's popular or what's undiscovered. Oh, and some of my friends might be stopping by from time to time.

Let me know if you'll be stopping by!

From:

rebelsamurai

[A voice message? From fucking who?! Johnny was about to delete it until he heard the familiar voice. Oh, that's...Taryon. Nova.

He listens for a while, smirking when Taryon mentions "working out." Yeah, Johnny has been hitting the gym a little more since the last Kaiju attack. Or, rather, he was before the lockdown began.

Now he's just bored out of his mind, strumming his guitar as he reminisces about the good old days. Talk about boring.]

Hey, nice to hear from ya. I thought you got eaten by a kaiju or somethin'.

Working out, huh? Well, I've recorded a couple of new tracks as of late that might help get the blood pumping. Gotta admit, I've been letting the creative juices flow ever since lockdown started, but even I'm gettin' bored.

Sick? I heard about that illness going around and decided to stay put for a couple of days. But now I'm bored of the four walls of this apartment and itchin' to go somewhere.

So yeah, I'll drop by. I'll bring the guitar.

From:

likemybooks

[Oh! That's a pleasant response. Taryon is very much used to Message spells which require audio, but texting does have its benefits. He reads through the message several times, stands up, and starts organizing all of his books and scrap metal. Astarion tends to come in at any moment he pleases, so he doesn't mind the spots of mess, but things are different for acquaintances.

Also, being along for too long has made him neglect his housekeeping. If he's going to be more responsible, more reliable, he can't depend on Doty to tidy up everything.]

That would be delightful. I'll bring out my music player when you want to take a break.

Let me tell you, I know a thing or two about entertaining myself in my room, but after getting a taste of freedon, I forget how I ever managed as a boy. I was rather sheltered in my youth, did I ever tell you that? But I wasn't unhappy, just so you know.

[That's...a pretty big lie, but Tary will let that stand. He has snacks to bring out and chairs to rearrange.]

From:

rebelsamurai

[Sheltered, huh? Johnny can't help but roll his eyes a little.

This guy is the walking embodiment of privilege, like a spoiled poodle wearing a 48K gold collar. He is the antithesis of everything Johnny represents, all packaged up in a tidy little package.

It's kind of hilarious.]

At least you had a room back then. Back when I was traveling with the nomads, the stars above served as my ceiling. Living with them was far from boring.

[That's mainly because they were either getting drunk, fucking, or killing. However, Johnny wisely decides to omit all that.]

But yeah, didn't have much of a home growing up.

From:

likemybooks

That doesn't sound boring at all. I know some people who traveled and worked when they were younger, and they are some of the people I look up to the most nowadays.

[Mercenaries, whose lives were not pleasant at all when their once-happy childhoods were torn from their hands and they were forced to fight for survival.]

The most traveling I did when I was younger was to vacation homes and through my books. But we can go into that once you're here. I brought some drinks from the vending machine.

From:

rebelsamurai

Is that right? That explains why you're so eager to strike out on your own.

[That, plus the fact that this guy doesn't appear to be the type of choom who relies on his advantages to get through life. It's oddly refreshing. Even so, Johnny can't help but roll his eyes once he learns about the multiple vacation homes.]

Just how loaded are you, man? I get you're a pampered poodle and all, but damn--multiple vacation homes?

[Taryon can't possibly be as rich as the Arasakas, right? Impossible.]

Too bad I don't have much in the way of alcohol. I guess I can bring over some snacks.

From:

likemybooks

Not so much now that I'm in charge of the family finances. Most of our properties are being sold off while we make things more reasonable. I'm *trying* to make the Darringtons a bit less. shitty.

[A long story as to how they got there. A year of travel, of actual physical suffering and near-death experiences, of being forced to confront his toxic learned behaviors and of realizing that there were many ways to lead a happy and proud life changed things. Money can provide so many things, but as much as he tried, books and expensive toys could not replace a household full of love.

Plus, going on adventures to help his friends was more fun than going to hotels, and he got to visit beautiful places, anyway.]

It's alright. I have specific tastes when it comes to alcohol.

[He should prepare some video games. That can better stop him from ruminating on his life before he met Vox Machina.]

From:

rebelsamurai

Sellin' the vacation homes? Shit, talk about a bold move.

[Even more courageously, Taryon is striving to improve his family's reputation by making changes. That isn't something you hear very often, especially in Night City. However, this is not Night City, and Johnny finds that not everyone is as sleazy as the people in his world. That's probably why he's grading Taryon on a curve.]

Do you? Let me guess, you prefer chardonnay or whatever the fuck it's spelled. That and probably wine.

[Johnny hates chardonnay. He would rather drink sake than that shit.]

Anyway, I'm on my way. Just don't get the party started without me.

---

[It's not even half an hour later until Taryon suddenly gets a knock at his door. Johnny wasn't kidding about being a little stir-crazy. He's been suffering an extreme case of cabin fever ever since the lockdowns started. Johnny was just begging to ditch his dorm for a few hours and hit the streets.

That explains why Taryon has a surly-looking rock star standing in front of his door in his ratty Samurai tee, those iconic tight brown leather pants, and those signature dark sunglasses. Hell, Johnny is even wearing that cool as hell Samurai themed jacket too.

He really looks the part of a rock star.]

Open up! It's NCPD!

[Don't mind him; he's being an asshole. He knocks harshly on the door with his metal fist.]

Edited Date: 2025-05-28 10:34 pm (UTC)

From:

likemybooks

Chardonnay is a wine.

But you're right. I'm partial to a good wine.

[Semantics aside, Taryon is eager to have someone over and see some change in his monotonous week. He frets from one corner of the room to the other, muttering to himself and talking through his concerns with Doty.]

I did my desk, all of the small pieces are in my junk drawer. That's done. Did I leave anything on my dresser? Doty, get me the cloth. I have to dust it. [His automaton holds out an old washcloth, which Taryon quickly swipes over the surface of his dresser, then his nightstand, then his chair for good measure.]

Would he notice something like that? How--

[There's a loud, terrifying banging on the door. Taryon's yelp is heard in the hallway, and even when he puts on his most composed face, Johnny will know how much he scared Taryon in the moment.

Who now opens the door with an easy smile.] Good you see you're well! I love that jacket. Did you make it yourself? [Please be distracted from his undignified reaction, cool musician.]

From:

likemybooks

[The night after Johnny visited was restless. Taryon wished that he was irresponsible enough to get drunk and force himself to sleep, but the potential hangover frightened him, so he was stuck in his bed, unable to replay the disastrous confrontation and repeat to himself that everything was his fault. It's his fault that both Astarion and Johnny were angry at him (no doubt Astarion was angry because Tary didn't convince him enough that there was nothing between him and any other man), and that he could have diffused the situation if he weren't caught off-guard.

That morning, waking up to Astarion's text, Tary knows that this may be the only time he has the courage to reach out to the other wronged man. Otherwise, they're going to go on a mission avoiding each other, and someone will die. ]

Doty, [He addresses his automaton.] If only we could leave this building, I would treat ourselves to some good food, or perhaps a movie. This is the worst. Even Vex forgave me when I apologized for ruining her room. This isn't as easy, is it?

[But the metal machine cannot offer words of comfort, only a monotone:] Tary.

Yes, yes, I know. But thanks. That helps.

[With a deep breath, he closes his eyes and hits the "send" button. Then closes the messenger application and turns on the television to distract himself.]

I want to apologize again for yesterday. I was deceitful and withheld critical information from both of you, and you were treated horribly by someone I thought I trusted. I haven't seen Astarion act like this before, and I am horrified at what he called you.

But you should not have tried to make it worse. If you dislike him, just say so without making jokes at my expense. It was kind of creepy for a while.

So, again, I'm sorry and if there is any way I can make it up to you, tell me. I will talk to Astarion about what happened, but I wanted to talk to you myself.

From:

rebelsamurai

[Taryon is not the only one surviving on a few hours of sleep. Johnny decided to keep quiet for the remainder of the evening and try to work on some music in peace. The trouble was that he couldn't focus. His mind was spinning out of control after that stupid incident. He spent the entire night thinking about Alt, how they fucked, argued, and loved at the same time.

While Alt and he were never exclusive, he did love her in his own odd way. He just couldn't admit it. The same thing happened to Kerry. They'd argue like cats and dogs one moment and then fuck like animals the next. It was a continual drama between them, with performances that often resulted in broken noses and split lips. However, it was natural...authentic.

The same may be stated for his relationship with V. However, Johnny doesn't wish to open that can of worms. His feelings for V are more convoluted than he could have imagined.

He was in the middle of this depressive thought when he received a notification on his phone. It's Taryon. When Johnny saw the text, he let out an annoyed groan. He is tempted to simply block him and be done with it. Whatever is going on between Taryon and Astarion is none of his concern. He doesn't care. Let the medieval twinks be assholes on their own time.

However, his first mistake was actually reading the text.]

Creepy? You know what's creepy? You insinuating we did more than just "chat," Taryon. That's what the fuck was really creepy here. Or how about you not coming clean about you having fucking input--I mean, boyfriend? Seriously, choom. Don't you sit there like you didn't play a role in this shit.

Also, Astarion is a complete asshole! He went from zero to sixty in 2.5 seconds all because you had me there. He's ridiculous and you're ridiculous.

The two of you deserve each other.

From:

likemybooks

[Fuck. Shit. The consequences of his actions have come to destroy him and his friendship. It's one thing to lie about actually looking for a one-night stand and realizing later that he made a fool of himself. It's another to relish in winning a few minutes of a man's company to the point that another gets jealous and the first one just feels...

Shit. Taryon has become the scoundrel of a bard that Vox Machina often rants to him about. Not a womanizer, exactly, but disrespectful to would-be lovers. A sleazy creep, as Percival said.

But on the other hand, why should he tell him right away that he has a boyfriend? Is that a thing people are supposed to do? Wouldn't that be bragging?

He wishes he had more sleep, and he wishes that he never runs into Johnny again.]

I will not argue against the accusations against me. But leave Astarion out of this.

[Taryon has a suspicion why, but he won't theorize it when he hasn't gotten a full apology and explanation from Astarion. ]

His behavior is his issue, not mine.

From:

rebelsamurai

[Now that the initial icky feelings are gone, Johnny feels a little...better. Not by much but better. He's no longer smoking a chimney anymore, so that's a plus. Even so, he's not too thrilled at where this conversation is going.]

Fine, I'll leave the pale asshole out of this.

[Of course, he had to get that last dig against Astarion, though. Johnny is petty like that.]

So yeah, that's how I feel about the situation. It was nice knowing you.

Edited Date: 2025-06-03 06:16 pm (UTC)

From:

vorous

Hey, Johnny. You don’t seem like you’re someone who knows how to cook.

_{[ Just like that. Laios doesn’t even bother to fully explain himself or recognize that what he is saying is possibly rude. ]}

From:

rebelsamurai

[Wait what? Why is Johnny getting called out like this? This is wild, especially since he suspects it’s Laios.

Weird. Johnny almost doesn’t know what to say.]

Cooking was never my forté, you know? Especially since I was on tour most of the time… Anyway, what’s it to you?

From:

vorous

Well, I figure with the restrictions and everything, maybe I could use this time to teach some people what I know. You know, individually! Personalized. Your survival skills really don’t seem great … remember that whole problem with the camel? so I want to help. Is that okay? :)

Edited Date: 2025-06-06 05:09 am (UTC)

From:

rebelsamurai

[Yo, why is he getting "called out" like this?!

Johnny is almost offended but how can he be offended by the truth? His survival skills are at an all-time low without V at the wheel here. Hell, he needed to be carted away out of the desert because of the heat. Johnny isn't built for survival at this point, not in this new body.

That's why, instead of legitimately cursing Laios out, Johnny waves the metaphorical white flag in surrender.]

Alright, alright! You ain't gotta remind me.
So yeah, sure. I'll be a willing student.

From:

vorous

Alright! Gimmie a second, I've never done this before, but this is probably the closest we can be without actually being in real life.

_{[ Laios, from 500 A.D, has taken quite aliking to some of the technology here now that he is used to it. Kabru especially liked the advancements here, since it was showing just how much humanity developed. Laios would say he's more at home back in the dungeon, for sure, but being able to access so much knowledge so easily has made him change his mind a little bit about the world here.

Johnny gets an invitation. ]}

LAUNCH DATAVERSE ? ? ?

From:

rebelsamurai

[Holy shit! Are they really about to cook virtually in the Database? Talk about weird. Johnny's idea of virtual reality is all skewed after visiting the Blackwall with V to find his ex-girlfriend, Alt. So forgive Johnny if he's a little apprehensive about launching this program here. Thankfully, he doesn't have anything to fear.

Laios isn't some evil artificial intelligence or some power-hungry dictator in charge of a multi-billion-dollar corporation. Laios is just a weird dude who likes eating strange foods, that's all. Johnny is in good hands, sorta.

So without much to-do, Johnny accepts the invitation and allows himself to get sucked into the Dataverse.]

This better be worth my time, choom!

Edited Date: 2025-06-08 03:23 am (UTC)

From:

vorous

_{[ Boop! Just like that, they end up in a foresty area of the dungeon. It seems pretty peaceful here with tall, lush and green trees and a bunch of flora everywhere. There's a trail that they are supposed to follow to continue forward, but this is one of Laios' memories, so it might be hard for him to keep taking them somewhere else. He figured this place would be pretty easy for Johnny.

Once he appears, Laios clicks his tongue. ]}

There you are. You don't have anything else you can wear? That doesn't look really dungeon dwelling monster cooking to me!

_{[ does it matter in vr??? Probably not. But it bothers Laios because.. he's just like that. ]}

From:

rebelsamurai

[Whoa. Johnny is speechless. He didn't know what to expect from this dataverse experience but he didn't expect to be instantly teleported inside of some lush green dungeon. This place looks like a magical fantasy world, especially since Johnny has never seen such green trees before. He glances around the place with a look of awe, that is, until Laios makes a comment about his attire.]

What? [He takes a glance over himself to realize he's in his signature black tank top and brown leather pants. Ironically enough, he was half-naked prior to arriving here. Yeah, that means Laios missed out on the chance of seeing him topless in loose gray sweatpants.]

This what I always wear!

[Ah, fuck it. This is Laios' virtual kitchen, so his rules.]

Fine, what do you folks wear around here? Armor?

From:

vorous

That’s exactly the problem! You gotta wear like you can be ready for anything to happen to you! Look at me!

_{[ slapping his palm on his armor proudly ]}

I can withstand all sorts of monster and magic attacks with my armor! I guess.. it depends on your class, you know?

_{[ .. ]}

You’re a bard, right?

From:

sanguivorous

[He spent so long on this, revising it over and over to be less and less angry and petty and sarcastic. But he does want to do it for Taryon. He just has to try to hold back his impulsiveness and self-edit until he finally sends:]

I know you won't want to hear from me, and I hardly want to reach out like this, but Taryon is important to me, and friendship is important to him.

He did not say anything untoward or even exaggerated, as far as I can recollect. Before I had told him how I felt about him, he was talking about someone he had had a fun night with, like you do with friends. I am sure a singing shining star such as yourself has done your fair share of bragging in song alone, so you must understand. He did say the two of you didn't have sex and that was it, however my mind leapt to still lurid activities. Suffice to say, I'm not keen to divulge my personal history to you, so let us just say my life for nearly 2 centuries required my thoughts to be so lasciviously bent.

All this to say, I apologise. You don't have to like me, or even tolerate me. Just don't hold my mistakes against him.

-Astarion

Edited Date: 2025-06-07 09:40 pm (UTC)

From:

rebelsamurai

[Ah, shit. Here we go again. Johnny was getting bad vibes the second he spotted that screen name. Who else would go around here calling himself "the pale elf" besides yours truly? Johnny was about to lay into Astarion until he actually read the message.

Instead of being met with a boatload of sass, he's greeted by a shockingly sincere message. Wtf? This surprises Johnny quite a bit.]

Lasciviously bent, huh? That's one hell of a quote. I might use that in the future.

[Okay, it's time for him to be an adult and respond back like one.]

No hard feelings, choom. Shit happens and I'll admit I blew a fucking gasket since I'm no good with this kind of touchy-feely stuff. It's just not my cup of tea, and I hate getting in the middle of someone else's affairs.

I honestly thought the worst of the situation since I'm used to bad shit happening. So yeah, I guess I have to apologize too for calling you two the medieval twinks brigade.

But yeah, no hard feelings. I'll talk to Taryon eventually, once lockdown ends. I don't see these chucklefucks keeping us locked up forever.

-
Silverhand

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